June 3, 2023•461 words
Got my haircut today. Still long but a bit more civilized. Well maybe not that civilized as it’s still pretty long but I feel good.
Nastya is here with me dying her hair orange and cutting it fairly short again.
I haven’t ridden my bike for a while. I have a new one that I’ve only ridden once. From the shop home but it was 15 km. Now the weather is warmer 20c but honestly I don’t care what season it is when it comes to cycling.
And this is something I’ve come to appreciate about life. That every season has its purpose. One doesn’t need to be sad and one happy. Every season can be good and different challenges can present themselves.
I’d like to go for bigger tougher rides. I miss the solitude of these long voyages as in a ship to a distant land. I need the largeness of life.
I appreciate living in Vienna which is a big city and I don’t feel this smallness I did in Jerusalem. Interesting, I only realize now that I outgrew Jerusalem. That I outgrew Israel.
It’s weird to say this when I have three kids there but it was too much of a village for me. Too much of the same. A small world.
I enjoy being part of the big world. The borderless world. The open minded world. A world with many cultures and colors not just Jewish and to a lesser extent Arabs.
Life is too short to be stuck only with your people while missing out on the larger world.
I do want Israel to be part of my life, especially my kids, especially Doni but I need to find out how. Also that strange country with its strange policies instills zero trust in me.
What others in Israel see as protection I see as overbearing Bolshevik ideology. Fucking communists.
The worst kind of communists are the ones who claim to be democrats and pro-capitalism. Because the only reason they’re pro these things is because it gives them more control and money.
Will Israel ever change? I don’t think so. At least not a big enough change. We Jews are always against the world even if we’re on the shit side. We trust what’s Jewish by default even though we know Jews care only about themselves making Israeli politicians the worst shit in power.
Civil rights and human rights are only an illusion and a distraction in Israel while in Austria I feel that these things actually matter to society.
Not to say that there’s good politicians anywhere but at the end of the day society determines the leadership.
But man I enjoy this experience of learning, growing and knowing more than what I used to know.