Wenn die Stadt die schönen alten Kopfsteinpflaster herausgerissen hat, um sie durch moderne Fliesen aus Bahnhöfen zu ersetzen. Und der Geruch von Pferdeurin wurde durch den Geruch von Nichts ersetzt. Von Charakterlosigkeit. Wessen Idee war das? Wahre Geschichte wird von Einheimischen nicht so geschätzt wie von Außenstehenden. Auch das Kolosseum wurde von den modernen Römern angepinkelt, und Statuen wurden als Baumaterial verwendet, bis sie eines Tages aufwachten und merkten, dass dies Schätze w...

When it's autumn and feels like spring. When the city ripped out the beautiful old cobblestones to replace them with modern train station tiles. And the smell of horse urine has been replaced with the smell of nothingness. Of no character. Whose idea was this? True history isn’t as appreciated by locals as it is by outsiders. The Colosseum was also pissed on by modern Romans, and statues were used as building material until one day they woke up and realized these were treasures. Perhaps cobble...

Was bedeutet es, sich um die Welt zu sorgen, wenn man nichts tut, um sie zu verbessern? Hör einfach auf zu heucheln. Wenn es dir nicht wirklich wichtig ist, dann gib es zu. Woher kommt diese „nette Person“-Mentalität – die Vorstellung, dass wir uns um jedes Grauen auf der Welt kümmern müssen? Interessierst du dich wirklich für Gaza? Weißt du überhaupt, wo das liegt? Warst du jemals dort? Oder die Ukraine – kennst du ihre Grenzen? Und den Sudan – kannst du dich erinnern, was dort los ist? Wahrsch...

What does it mean to care about the world if you're doing nothing to better it? Just stop pretending. If you don’t care that much, admit it. Where does this “nice person” mentality come from—the idea that we must care about every horror across the globe? Do you genuinely care about Gaza? Do you even know where it is? Have you been there? What about Ukraine—do you know its borders? And Sudan—can you recall what's happening there? Probably not. They report less on Africa; it’s just not that newswo...

Zeit ist dehnbar, Geld ist dehnbar. Das Leben insgesamt ist dehnbar. Worauf beziehe ich mich mit dieser Elastizität? Wenn du an einem Tag viele Dinge erledigen möchtest, aber spät aufwachst und früh am Abend eine Verpflichtung hast, denkst du vielleicht: „Ich habe keine Zeit, um auf den Markt zu gehen, in dieses Geschäft und jenes Geschäft, hier einen Kaffee zu trinken und dort Mittag zu essen.“ Also entscheidest du dich vielleicht, all diese Pläne zwischendrin abzusagen. Aber wenn du es trotzde...

Time is elastic, money is elastic. Life overall is elastic. What is this elasticity I'm referring to? When you want to get multiple things done in one day but you wake up late and have a commitment early in the evening, you might think, "I don't have time to go to the market, to that shop and this shop, have coffee here, then lunch over there." So, you might choose to cancel all these in-between plans. But if you go for it, you’ll surprise yourself by still managing to do all those things, despi...

Samstagmorgen. Warum die Uhrzeit checken? Warum die Temperatur prüfen? Die Heizung ist an, und es gibt jetzt keine dringendere Angelegenheiten. Die Katze spielt mit den Pflanzen, die Hunde wandern herum und sind wie jeden Tag auf der Suche nach einem längst verlorenen Schatz, den vielleicht nicht einmal der allmächtige Dyson-Staubsauger entdeckt hat. Ich sollte die Temperatur überprüfen, doch das Geheimnis der Uhrzeit löst sich, als meine Uhr mit einem Klingeln 11 Uhr anzeigt. Habe ich zu lange ...

Saturday morning. Why check the time? Why check the temperature? The heating’s on, and there’s no urgent need to go. The cat’s playing with the plants. The dogs are wandering around, embarking on their daily quest to unearth some hidden treasure, possibly overlooked by the all-powerful Lord Dyson. I should check the temperature, but the mystery of what time it is fades as my watch flashes 11 AM with a chime. Did I sleep in late or get up too early? Who’s to judge? The reader? Definitely not my n...

In Westeuropa wird erwartet, dass man oft lächelt. Ob das gut oder schlecht ist, sei dahingestellt, aber diese Erwartung nimmt langsam ab, da Europa in eine Phase wirtschaftlicher Schwierigkeiten, Kriegsängste und steigenden Terrorismus eintaucht. Doch das zeigt auch, dass die Dinge momentan nicht so rosig sind. In Osteuropa hingegen gilt man als naiv oder als Ausländer, wenn man lächelt, obwohl man nicht wirklich glücklich ist. Das hat weniger damit zu tun, wie gut oder schlecht das Leben ist,...

In Western Europe, there's an expectation to smile a lot. For better or for worse, this expectation is fading somewhat as Europe shifts into a more negative phase of economic hardship, concerns over war, the rise of terrorism, and so on. But this change in attitude is also a sign that things are not going so well. In Eastern Europe, however, if you smile when you're not actually happy, you're considered either somewhat naïve or simply a foreigner. It has little to do with how good or bad life ...

Empathy is emphasised in customer service today, but speed and efficiency should remain paramount. "Put yourself in the shoes of the customer." However, the customer is looking for a quick and efficient solution to their problem. I have seen endless empathic interactions that could have been quicker and more efficient. There’s often an endless back and forth of, "I understand how frustrating this must be for you," and, "I would feel just as upset as you do." But this cannot replace, "I'm sorry y...

Wann und wenn du erkennst, dass du nicht ewig leben wirst, was ändert sich dann? Was würdest du anders machen? Mehr Risiken eingehen, aber was, wenn du bereits alle Risiken eingehst? Wenn du merkst, dass Familie überbewertet ist, was ändert sich dann? Wenn du schließlich verstehst, dass die Ehe oft das Ende der Romantik bedeutet, was dann? Und wenn du erkennst, dass Kinder immer enttäuschen und Eltern niemals zufrieden mit unseren Leistungen sind, was dann? Wenn dir klar wird, dass es mehr Men...

When you realize that you won’t live forever, what changes? Do you take more risks? But what if you’re already taking all the risks you can? And when you start to question whether family is truly as meaningful as you've been told, what changes then? When you finally understand that marriage can often signal the end of romance, what then? And when it sinks in that children may always disappoint, and parents never seem satisfied with our accomplishments, how do you respond? As you come to see th...

Sieben Jahre lang wurden Juden und andere Minderheiten verfolgt, und zehn Jahre sowjetische Kontrolle waren geprägt von Missbrauch – die Vergewaltigung österreichischer Mädchen und der Raub industrieller Güter. 17 Jahre des Leidens. Die ersten sieben Jahre waren in etwas Schönes gehüllt, die späteren explizit unterdrückend. Die Nazis sind fort, und die Russen ebenfalls. Doch der Kampf zwischen Nazismus und sowjetischem Einfluss bleibt bestehen. Die Ideologie der Nazis fließt von ländlichen Gebie...

Vienna, seven years of Nazi rule. Then, Soviet rule. Seven years, they are purging the Jews and company and ten years of Soviet control marked by abuses—raping Austrian girls and stealing industrial output—17 years of suffering. The first seven were cloaked under something beautiful, the latter explicitly oppressive. The Nazis are gone, and so are the Russians. Yet, the battle between Nazism and "Soviet" influence remains constant. Nazi ideology flows from rural areas toward the capital, defende...

I ordered a nice wooden sunbed for my home in Lugano, where I could read a book or two, sip my Aperol Spritz, and look at the mountains and the beautiful lake. Sadly, I ordered it four days before summer ended, and it arrived two days before summer ended. With luck, we’d have an Indian summer, so we might as well set it up. Once I opened the box, I found the wood broken in a place that would be difficult to repair. I needed to contact customer service for a return but wasn’t excited about the h...

In Vienna, you don't wake up grateful for life. You wake up gloomy. From the start, you think about everything that needs doing. Essential things such as how many croissants you'll buy from the bakery. And even more important, which ones? Likely an almond croissant, my favorite. Then a marillen croissant (apricot filling) and, of course, a plain one so you can add your butter and salami or, if you feel like it, honey and butter or just that different marillen jam you have at home. But first, th...

In Wien wacht man nicht dankbar für das Leben auf. Man wacht mit einer gewissen Schwermut auf. Von Anfang an denkt man an all die Dinge, die getan werden müssen. Essentielle Dinge wie die Anzahl der Croissants, die man in der Bäckerei kaufen wird. Und noch wichtiger, welche Sorten? Wahrscheinlich ein Mandelcroissant, mein Favorit. Dann ein Marillencroissant und natürlich ein einfaches, damit man zu Hause Butter und Salami hinzufügen kann oder, wenn einem danach ist, Honig und Butter oder einfach...

What you'll often hear about customers nowadays is that they are highly educated and often know more about the product they're interested in than the customer service agents they interact with. This happens because customers have easy access to information through websites, search engines, and social media. Their excitement about the product motivates them to learn as much as possible about it. On the other hand, customer service agents, despite having access to more detailed internal resources...

I need a chair. One that I can carry with one hand while holding my coffee in the other and keeping the dog away from the food on the table with my leg. But the chair needs to be comfortable—a chair that, when I finally put it in place and sit on it, keeps me from falling off the sides. Not because I'm fat, but because I'm too distracted to look at where I'm going to sit. I need to feel with my ass as I sit down where the designated sitting area begins and ends. But why would I need to move the...

One of the first tech companies I worked for was Netgear, which was later acquired by Cisco. My role was that of what they called a Tech Support Technician. Just as the title suggests, it was a $9 entry-level job, and I got it mostly because I'm fluent in German, and they needed coverage for the DACH (Deutschland, Austria, and Confoederatio Helvetica)—basically Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. I also had my tech skills from taking apart PCs and explosives as an IDF sapper. What was unique abo...

Some people get what they call a dog – more like a rat – and treat it like a perpetual baby, not realizing that it is indeed a dog with canine needs, such as socialization and walking on the ground. When other dogs come near, the owners are horrified as if they were holding a rabbit or a squirrel. Then, they become annoyed with the owners of normal-sized dogs who treat canines like dogs. The audacity of letting these dogs smell their rat’s microscopic anus – how dare they not control their dogs!...

In Vienna, when the cold weather comes, there's this drizzle that doesn't count as rain. A visitor might say, "It's raining," but if you live here, you won't think it is. The roads will have this wetness from this "drizzle." A certain gloom may accompany it, but I, for one, rarely find Vienna gloomy. It has a dark past and possibly a dark future coming, but for now, it's a special city. There are all kinds of people, even if mostly a representation of this part of Europe, this part of the world,...

Sadness is a common state that gets misdefined as depression. Depression is beyond the state of feeling; it's a state of no desires, no kindled fire. It all takes on one color of black or, perhaps with luck, dark grey. But sadness is a world of feeling. It's a state of tears, a state of hope, and of not giving up, not yet. It's a state of belief, belief that good things do exist and will be experienced soon again, if for but a moment. It's a disappointment based on expectations—not unrealistic...

There's this ageless concern that the world is going to hell. The end is near. All religions talk of this. Science talks of this. Ancient and modern stories. False and true prophets. The Incas, the Aztecs, the Egyptians, the Sumerians. And then modern men and women who constantly feel things are getting worse and the good old days are gone. But is any of this for certain, or is it just within our mind and heart? Is the key to being content regardless of the external circumstances just as the Ro...

Late at night, I found myself aimlessly scrolling through Instagram Reels when, out of nowhere, a guy appeared claiming that brushing your teeth with your left hand could transform your life. Being someone who's constantly seeking more from life, I thought, "Why not?" and decided to give it a try the following morning. Subsequently, while I was on my computer or phone, an advertisement for Ramit Sethi's book, "I Will Teach You To Be Rich," popped up. Initially dismissing it as sensationalist flu...

As a Tech Sales Instructor, I had a student in Miami. We were talking about his dream compensation. "So tell me, man, how much do you want to make a year?" He shot back, "$200 Million". All the other students laughed, but I didn't. If that's his dream, why laugh at it? But I responded, "OK, $200 million a year, but how much of that is going to be from Tech Sales?" He responded without winking, "Oh, about $150K," which is a realistic salary for a Tech Sales professional. It was clear that I wasn...

We talk about the future of warfare, but the future is already here. Yet, we base our approach to warfare on the past. Big tanks, ships, and aircraft have the most significant value. We see this when European armies buy large tanks and other large terrestrial vehicles to face the no longer unrealistic threat of a direct conflict with Russia. All this, although over 30 ships of Russia's Black Sea Fleet - a third of the entire fleet - have been destroyed this past year by a country that doesn't ha...

In George Orwell's 1984 novel, there's a reference to surveillance helicopters coming close to the ground to spy on people through their windows. It doesn't sound fantastic today, but his book was first published in 1948, long before such surveillance was possible. During Covid-19, I lived in Jerusalem, and the police used drones to make sure people under quarantine were indeed at home. As an avid cyclist, I saw traffic police launch drones from orange orchards for traffic surveillance. It's no...

A company contacted me, seeking assistance with an important sales presentation while their top salesperson was on vacation. Specializing in building management systems, they had an opportunity for a significant contract involving multiple buildings. During a late-night call, the CEO passionately outlined why their offer surpassed the competition's. As I took notes, he revealed that while their company asked for a mere $50K, the competitor proposed $300K. Puzzled, I asked, "You stated the super...

I managed a sales team once which ranged a variety of nationalities, personalities, and experience. However, management had one blanket policy for the entire team: make as many calls as possible, with everyone benchmarked according to the closer who made the most calls. Generally, it’s a numbers game, and the one who makes the most calls usually makes the most sales. Our number one salesperson made around 280 calls a day and made the most sales. But our number two salesperson made only 20 calls...

They often speak of midlife crises and burnout hitting in your 40s, but for me, it's a different struggle altogether: a relentless deluge of nonsense. After two decades in the tech industry, instead of growing more tolerant, I find my patience wearing thinner by the day. The warning signs aren't merely observed; they're swiftly addressed with a decisive fury. Gone is the leniency once afforded to novice professionals who overlook blatant red flags in the vain hope they'll vanish on their own. T...

Residing in numerous countries has significantly moulded my mentality, encompassing positive and challenging facets. Growing up in Greece, my admiration extended beyond its scenic beaches to the industrious builders who commenced work before sunrise, employing manual tools and portable concrete mixers. Simultaneously, I found inspiration in the maritime magnates whose colossal tankers in Piraeus fueled my dreams. This environment instilled the belief that diligent work could propel one to such ...

We live in a world of enemies who want to rejoice at our downfall. If you're on the front of some war, it's a bit easier to identify the enemy, but it's not always clear even there. But in a civilised peacetime society, it's tough. In a simple mind, one's friend is the one who is nice to you. The enemy is the one who is mean to you. Still, even then, the term enemy isn't popular in a civilised society, just like the word evil is a term reserved for the exclusive usage of religious people. "Soph...

On New Year's Day, 1985, my 40-year-old father died of a heart attack. I was two years old. But never mind me; my poor mother was in her twenties and had lost the love of her life right next to her on that January morning. December 31st, 2023. I'm 40 years old. Some crooks stole my bike from my basement earlier in the year. The police officer who came over to take fingerprints - yes, in Austria, things are different - told me how he had just had a heart attack. With a warm smile, he advised me ...

The routine of every day is automatic. One gets up and does what one does without thinking much about it. The body proceeds while the mind gets lost in random thoughts, worries, memories, and processing information. The hands wash the face, prepare the coffee, put on the coat, and lock the door. All the while, the mind thinks about the night's dreams, the day's worries, and, not surprisingly, the weather. And millions of people around the world join you in unison. The time when all this changes...

The Christmas markets are bustling with cheerful people holding Glühweins and fruit punches. The smells of Lebkuchen and fried potato fill the air. Random stands selling random goods that would unlikely sell during any other marketing event. The cold temperature matters little as the body temperature of the masses makes up for it. One Christmas market location remains empty. Still needs to be set up. As if accidentally forgotten. The area so accustomed to being used for a Christmas market appea...

One glass of wine, one shot of something, one cocktail of this, one of that, and then one of that. Life is too short not to enjoy the moment. The strange yet comforting music emanating from the speakers above. The view on the street below, a this, a that, a small, a big, a fast, a slow yet just a car. Multiple cars. Stopping at the light as the tram slides by. Filled with people heading to town. To party, to walk, to eat, to drink, to get absolutely and totally drunk. It's cold outside, or is i...

The roads look like winter, but it's not quite there yet. Still, some flowers wither away slowly. Others look like they're holding on a bit longer. It's funny how these flowers get appreciated the most, as they don't stand out in summer when all the flowers stand firm. The green grass grows between the cobblestones but slower in places where outdoor platforms of cafes and restaurants once covered them. The buildings look empty. I look for a cat looking at the road from one of the windows, but a...

On that Saturday morning, Hamas won against Israel. They outsmarted the world's 11th superpower. They used scooters and primitive communication methods. Actually, it was an ingenious tactic. And it effectively bypassed all the defences of Israel. Resulting in one of the greatest tragedies in the State of Israel's history. But the strategy used by Hamas is not their invention; anyone trained in guerilla warfare knows that what they did was according to the textbook. Except, of course, for butch...

We all know about self-sabotage and limiting beliefs; we talk about it all the time, but we're unaware of how much we're affected. We may have a fear of success, even more so fear of failure, fear of appearing stupid, but it's more than that. If you've made a certain amount of money all your working life, then trying to increase this compensation will raise all kinds of existential alarms in your mind. Because, in truth, going from $40K a year to $100K a year is scary. Extremely uncomfortable. ...

If you want something else for yourself, the likelihood that your current environment will allow this is mostly impossible. Your parents, siblings, partner, kids, relatives, and friends make up your current tribe, and your tribe wants to keep you "safe" according to tribe norms. While they often aggressively try to do so, their intentions aren't necessarily ill intent. They truly believe you're losing your mind and that you're in grave danger of ruining yourself. True, if you choose to become a...

The world is going to war, and the fools are stuck on being wholly zoomed in. A war here, a war there, zoom out, and you'll see it's one war. One battle of East vs West or West vs East, whichever you prefer. An Axis - yes, an Axis that actually uses that name! - of Russia, Syria, Iran and everything that is of Iran (Hamas, Hezbollah, The Houthis, and co.). Treacherous Turkey, Hungary, Serbia and now Slovakia, who won't pick the right side of history. Zoom out, and it's one big massive front tha...

The meat at the butcher's in the market looks beautiful. The lines, the colour, the drops of blood. A brief thought of feeling bad, but again appreciating how beautiful it looks. The bipolar attitude of society where we're supposed to feel bad for animals but not stop eating them. This "I feel bad" nonsense. If you don't feel OK with it, then don't do it, and if you're OK with it, then don't pretend that you're not. Like all these people who rant against porn, but they're at it secretly, hoping...

You think you know something, but do you really? What is it that you know? Some expertise? What you learnt in school? From your parents? Friends? Neighbours? Can you guarantee it's not all just one massive pile of shit? Of course, you can't. Everything you think you know is based on your thoughts, but what do you know? 2+2 = 4? Why do you know this to be so? Because you were taught that it is so. But maybe it's 5? It could be 6. The only reason it's 4 is because you've been told it's 4. And bec...

If you grew up poor, you likely have a fear of poverty. I read once that many of the Forbes list is made up of people who fear poverty, and this fear propels them to crazy heights of financial success. Another common fear is fear of failure and actually fear of success, which keeps many, if not most, people living lives that are not aligned with their dreams. In fact, this is so common that it's cliche. But many different kinds of fears hold us back. Fear of not being smart enough, even though ...

What haunts me the most about the experience in Kharkiv is not what I saw, but the thought of what I have yet to witness. The fear of myself in such chaos is something that keeps me up at night. It's not the fear of the Russians and their primitive imperial aspirations that drives me to escape to the West, but the fear of what I might become in the face of such violence. Even the sight of suffering dogs triggered an anger within me that I've never felt before, and that terrifies me. It's not th...

In the water it falls. Using a stick I rescue it. Sitting there at the edge with a broken wing I know my effort is worthless. If I move the bird to the other side it won't fall in again. It won't drown. But how will it die? Without a wing it's a matter of time. I leave the bird where it is as I farewell. It looks at me. Relief or hope? I know what I'll see when I return. Exactly as one imagines. A dead bird. And I feel like shit. My eyes darken. Anger engulfs me. Why did I save what I kill...

Every time we think things will be different this time and then we deal with precisely the same nonsense. The only thing that changes is the actors playing the roles, but the story is the same. There may be slight variations here and there. It's not Jerusalem, and it's New York. It's not winter, and it's summer. It's not a daughter but a son. It's not a blonde but a brunette—nevertheless, so much déjà vu. When you're starting your life, and when I say that, I mean in your late teens and early ...

When I think of the history it’s hard to understand how peaceful these quiet streets among these old but up kept buildings are. There’s silence that’s broken once in a while by the hoofs of horses pulling carriages with their cargo of mesmerized tourists. The drivers pointing out quietly one historical building or another. I think of my own sadness which at this point in my life seems to be one of my oldest companions. Never surprising me but still misunderstood. I am content and sad at the sam...

A fucking idiot walks down the inevitable path of stupidity, never learning a fuck all thing. All the wisdom in the world he reads, not realising that it goes in one ear and comes out of his asshole like a silent fart. He falls in love before he is loved and he goes to war before its declaration. Money he chases as he has none and he declares fatherhood without proof. He aches for illusion and takes for granted what's real. Everywhere he sees enemies where there are none and where there are ...

I'm a city person. I could never live in anything with a population less than 500K. It's just the way it is. One jackal crosses my path that's normal, two it's time to slow down. And then a fox. Clearly there's a party going on. I'm always seeing things and not sure what is real and what isn't but as long as it stays in the corner of my eye all is good. When the moon is bright it complicates things as you constantly think there's a car coming when it's not. However, the beauty about the nigh...

Racing through the late night city traffic of buses, cabs, ambulances, cop cars and motorists. Electric bikes and cycling commuters. Into the forest roads of sporadic motorists, cautious jackals and a single track train echoing throughout the mountains. Down into the land of highways and high speed railroads, heavy industry and endless trucks screaming across the land. Highway patrol speeding along, flashing lights. Buses traveling national routes. Commercial jets and military helicopters in th...

I don't understand how people can gather within a cramped building and pray to God. I haven't been to a house of prayer in years and last time I was there I felt like a caged animal. When I'm on the top of some mountain overlooking the land I see creation. I see a promise fulfilled. A land of the living. And whether I want to or not I think of my Creator and the possible outcomes and consequences of it all. And if you're going to be an asshole you're only going to last so long on the road. I c...

Descending a quiet road at good speed I overtake a minivan clearly unsure of its whereabouts. At the bottom of the hill it catches up with me as I'm drinking some water and enjoying the view. Tourists. The teenager runs off to snap pictures and the mother approaches me to ask me if I knew where some archeological site could be found. I point up to the mountain and proceed to explain the map of asphalt and dirt paths. After she thanks me I wonder how come I always know where the weird shit is? ...

It was an unfuckable day. One of those days where the universe seemed to be conspiring against you. All I wanted was to unfuck it, to crawl back into bed and wait for tomorrow. But what kind of man just gives up on a Tuesday afternoon? So instead, I got dressed for a bike ride, though I had a thousand second thoughts about it. Despite my reservations, I pushed forward. The city was alive with its usual hustle and bustle, but strangely enough, the traffic calmed me. Waiting behind cars for the l...

I turn on the news and there's all this talk about riots in East Jerusalem. Right wing extremists fighting with Arabs in the streets of Jerusalem. Arab youth walking up to Orthodox Jews smacking them and uploading the videos to Ticktok. Riot police with nightsticks, shields and water-cannons. Scandalous events. The media having a field day. From where I ride I don't see any of that. I see little Arab kids waving and smiling at me. Yellow Palestinian cabs slowing down while passing me. Israeli ...

CHAPTER 1 I hate the city now. It's dark and gloomy. Not the weather, the people. All the fun and excitement that used to be here is gone. The shops even though open appear closed. The once attractive women are now fat and unkept. The strange people, no longer stand out. The police cars parked randomly no longer make me feel safe like they used to. You see a cop talking to someone, you know they're in trouble for some minor violation of some fake law. Fake law, because it's not ratified, and ...

When I go to sleep at night I think of all the events of that day on the road. The longer the ride the more events. Strangely I don't always remember where I've been and I need to actually think about it. Wait was that today or yesterday? The problems of someone who cycles a lot is the lack of ability to discern in one's mind between rides. But I saw that dead dog...today...not yesterday. Wait, I saw one yesterday and one today. How many sheep did I see today? None today, but a hundred or so y...

Once upon a time. I remember going down a mountain at 30 km/h holding on for dear life, traffic building up behind me until the police patrol called over the speaker that I should pull over to let the traffic pass. How embarrassing. And today I'm going down a mountain at 90 km/h hoping to hit a 100 km/h grinning like a lunatic. I remember flipping everyone off and hitting cars over the slightest violations. Throwing water bottles at offending cabs and buses. I call it amateur anger syndrome...

Η συνειδητοποίηση του τι συμβαίνει με κάνει να θέλω να αυτοκτονήσω. Δεν έχω καμία ελπίδα. Καμία επιθυμία. Είμαι στην άκρη. Πρέπει να δουλέψω αλλά δεν μπορώ. Βλέπω τον γιο μου και είμαι λυπημένος. Σε ποιο κόσμο τον έφερα; Ποιον θα παλέψω για να τον προστατεύσω; Υια να προστατεύσω τη γυναίκα και τα παιδιά μου; Πότε θα δω ξανά την ειρήνη; Κανείς δεν κάνει τίποτα να σταματήσει αυτή την τρέλα αλλά ούτε εγώ. ...

They used to ask where are the good people? I haven't heard that one in a while. Looking around it's not so much the violence and deception that gets to me but the indifference. A head chopped off, rolls down the street and drips blood into a gutter. Nobody seems to notice. As if a rat just ran across the road. A piece of trash in the wind. It's not that nobody notices that it's a head, it's that nobody cares. When I was a child, one would walk down the street and recognize faces. There wasn't ...

The world is dead. Masturbate until your dick is sore. Fuck her until she bleeds. The world is dead. Don't give a fuck about what they say or do. What they think of you matters not. The world is dead. Let others be the nice guys. You, don't give a fuck. You're a criminal the day they decide. The world is dead. Let them have their heroes. Their wimpy, faggot heroes. No titles for me as I crush your skull. The world is dead. Love has gone. Hate is here. That's what they want. Because the wor...

So we're having a ridiculous heatwave again. I'm turning every rock to find water on my bike ride today. Abandoned buildings, closed gas stations, border crossings. I'm mostly successful. I have a good idea of where to find water all over the place. On the route, I'm taking to Jerusalem the only place I know where there's water is in a playground in the city of Modi'in, which is roughly 37 kilometers from Jerusalem. I pull up to the playground and drink about four bottles of water as I appreci...

Saturday afternoon and I'm pacing about. I have no appetite. I can't be bothered to read the weekend paper or watch Netflix. I play with my toddler son a bit but then he goes off to his nap. My older son is having an afternoon of "XBOX and friends". Alone in my restlessness I note that I'm down. Depressed. Fed up. Sick and tired of everything. My perspective has gone to hell. I tell my wife that I need to go for a ride now, not later. I need four hours to figure this out. "Vai com Deus" ("Go w...

Looking for good tires for the rainy days the bike shop mechanic laughs at me in a friendly manner. “Es sind nicht die Reifen, es ist der Radfahrer, der im Regen ausrutscht.” (“It’s not the tires but the cyclist who slips in the rain”). I think about this for a moment and as if a new concept I register its truth and wonder how after all these years of cycling I still blame outside things for personal failures? And my next question to the mechanic who is also a seasoned cyclist who rides all ...

I have lost the joy I once I had. I'm a man of money and without money it's impossible for me to enjoy life. From $35,000 a month down to $10,000 a month is a huge hit. While others would be over the moon to make $10,000 a month I find myself defaulting on payments for the first time since 2012 and I'm angry about it. I went official and started filing taxes as I strongly believed that doing the right thing would bring financial blessing to my life. Ever since not only has what I've kept gone ...

A short recount about traveling to Ukraine during 2021 between Covid-19 and Russian alert. The flight was on time and thanks to Omicron everyone had their own seat which made it feel like more of an executive flight than a commercial flight. The flight being a red-eye flight was pleasant. The lights were turned off so people could sleep and the plane was flying low enough so I could see all the lights of Cyprus, Turkey, and every town and city that I never knew existed as I've never been her...

Got my haircut today. Still long but a bit more civilized. Well maybe not that civilized as it’s still pretty long but I feel good. Nastya is here with me dying her hair orange and cutting it fairly short again. I haven’t ridden my bike for a while. I have a new one that I’ve only ridden once. From the shop home but it was 15 km. Now the weather is warmer 20c but honestly I don’t care what season it is when it comes to cycling. And this is something I’ve come to appreciate about life. That ev...

The problem with tech is that all these startups are founded by tech people with other tech people who are not experts or don't even at least hire an expert in the product or service that they're starting. Fintechs are not founded by bankers and most don't even include or even consult with bankers. In fact they see themselves as fixing everything that is wrong with banking but it baffles me how you're supposed to do that without collaborating with banking experts. One thing about bankers is tha...

Why does the small mindedness of people so frustrate me. I can deal with so much but when stupid people interfere with my life I go into a rage. What I feel in the moment is awful. I could beat the living crap out of them but on retrospect my lashing out at them is not as bad I imagined at the time. In fact I don’t call them even names to their faces but I do insult their stupidity and make it clear that they’re existence bothers me and that they are worthless cunts without actually calling the...

In the past I wanted to share with the world everything. Now I want my privacy. I no longer want others to see, know or think about me. I don't care to be famous or well known. I rather be anonymous. Successful beyond measure and in the shadows. Maybe it's the Swiss in me? Maybe it's because I'm 37? I don't know. All I know is that I no longer want to share with people, with the world. I can share a nice picture, but my thoughts I want to keep to myself. Maybe a base description or a neutral w...

Music is an interesting thing. It's all so damn loud and annoying. I don't understand how people can work with it or heck go to sleep with it. It never sounds right, well, except for Classical, Jazz, Bachata and maybe some Bossa Nova. But once I'm on my bike all that pretentious crap becomes irrelevant. The battle commences between the Spotify playlists of power metal, speed metal, psychedelic trance and anything that will have me smashing through invisible walls with my bike. The bass, the sp...

Sexuality that force the world's trying to make you feel bad about. Especially if you're a man. Too much of it and you're a pervert or a sexual predator in the making. Everything's taboo and yet we're more twisted sexually than ever before. Call good bad and then there won't be a difference between the two. Making love on the beach as the sun sets becomes the same as a date rape in a city apartment. All the beauty of it all gone into the abyss of morality and ethics. The beauty of a woman's br...

If I were honest I'd say I live in a world of cowards who are terrified of everything when the only danger is the continuous attempts by governments to strip us of our freedoms under the guise of protecting us. As long as we fear we'll never be free. As long as I live in this world I may never be free. Is it about a fight? A rebellion? A mutany? I feel like people fighting each other isn't the solution because the problem is the system in place. A system that fears what will be of it when it'...

Today I woke up and felt somewhat rejuvenated. I had a great breakfast with my woman and got ready for my bike ride. I had a weird feeling as I headed down the stairs to my building's basement and saw the door unlocked. I proceeded down the narrow basement stairs and saw the aftermath of someone working violently on breaking into my basement compartment, and I looked inside. No bike. I wanted to be angry, upset, and shocked, but my first reaction was, "At least I have insurance." I went out to...

Everything is all right. Nobody's disrespecting you. They pay you on time. It would be best if you were grateful that you have a job, especially when so many don't. But you want more. You're just not feeling it. "What's wrong? Are they mean to you?" It's not that. "Is the pay too low? Well, at least you're making money!" I guess it's kinda low, but it's not that. "Do you not like your boss?" I don't mind the guy, but it's not that. Change that perspective already, and be grateful for what yo...

Hump Day is the best time of the week to feel discouraged. Not close to the weekend yet and too close to Monday. Let the countdown start...to what? To Friday night's Netflix binge? To catch up on all that sleep that you're missing out on? But you promised the kids things! You're not sleeping this weekend! And you did promise your spouse that thing you haven't taken care of for almost a year because you're so damn wasted. The weekend takes forever to come, and it's gone so fast, especially w...

$200,000. That's my credit card limit—$ 200,000 per month. Is it really, is this wishful thinking? I don't know, but the drop-down menu in my account gives me the option. So my bank thinks I can ask for it. But do I think I can ask for it? Why am I scared to choose that option? What will happen? The worst case bank says "no"; best case, I'll have another way to indebt myself into oblivion. But maybe I fear they'll shut down my bank account because I dared to dare. Or is what bothers me that some...

I unlock the gate, and the wind slams it shut. I'm already regretting leaving my flat. But I need to get something to eat. No street lights and the road is a mixture of mud, snow, ice, and slippery asphalt. I look up at my building and see a few lights on, the more intelligent people staying home. Torn cardboard boxes are flying everywhere. An empty tram races by through the mixture of snow and mud. A few people in the distance running home while holding tight to their umbrellas. Is it raining? ...

Escape from Kharkiv: A Journey Toward Freedom It was a grey, dreary morning in Kharkiv, and the heavy clouds overhead seemed to be dripping with menace, like the foreign oppressive government that controlled every aspect of their lives. The air was thick with tension, and the distant thuds of artillery fire only served to increase the anxiety that had settled over the city like a shroud. Winston Smith, a middle-aged man with weary eyes and a gaunt face, had decided that it was time to flee. He...