November 4, 2023•676 words
If you want something else for yourself, the likelihood that your current environment will allow this is mostly impossible. Your parents, siblings, partner, kids, relatives, and friends make up your current tribe, and your tribe wants to keep you "safe" according to tribe norms. While they often aggressively try to do so, their intentions aren't necessarily ill intent. They truly believe you're losing your mind and that you're in grave danger of ruining yourself.
True, if you choose to become a junkie and live on the street, then the alarm makes sense. But you'll get the same reaction for just about any change that doesn't align with your tribe's values and comfort zone.
We live in patterns passed down through our generations, and when these patterns don't align with our dreams and desires, we need to break free. Now, how you break free can be quiet and diplomatic or through loud rebellion. And while the former will be less dramatic, it's only sometimes an option, or at least not a long-term option. At first, you may be able to hide that you have chosen a different path, but at some point, you won't be able to hide the changes in your life.
And now, again, indeed, if the changes you are going for are good, will your surroundings support and respect you? No. You'll be supported and appreciated if you go astray and return to the tribe's values. Still, not if, let's say, you become wildly successful. Because when you succeed against your tribe's values, you embarrass them and you are a thorn in their eye. You are living proof that their values are not as valuable as they think and are indeed much like floating excrement going nowhere desirable. But just like any tribe, there are often some wise men or wise women who, at some point or another, had similar aspirations but didn't dare to break free. They now support and help you, living their aspirations through you. These people, usually an aunt or an uncle in my experience, you'll be able to feel a closeness to but make no mistake, since they didn't succeed, they will have envy and resentment at some level, so you best be modest when sharing about your success.
If you value your tribe above all else, you have no business chasing success and self-discovery, for you will lose what you love. The oath to success is lonely, and you must be willing to mourn and accept the sorrow that comes with loss. A young person rarely thrives while living with their parents, and an individual does not become great while held back by an unhappy relationship.
You'll also need to be aware of something that is less talked about, and that is that not all men and women are meant to be in long-term relationships. Many paths to greatness involve one walking them alone, and others include walking them with a partner who shares your values and desires. Which one is you is something you'll need to find out. Most enter relationships for base needs, and love is a nice-to-have but not a requirement. And in the end, all they're doing is continuing the human race, which, as important as it is, has no value to one's individuality. Yes, out of these "base" relationships come many great souls, and you should not look down on these relationships but rather understand your desire for success and progress above all else in relation to them. Another point that is hard to swallow is that many relationships we have, romantic, friendship, and professional, serve a temporary purpose, and recognising when this purpose has been served is a skill that comes with much experience.
What is essential to understand is that whatever you choose, as long as you choose it, it's noble. A choice made by free thought is always a decision of value. It's when we tread on and on like cows to the slaughter without thinking that is the great tragedy of our species. Then you are just floating shit.