The Art of Letting Go: Detachment = Success

There is an important aspect of sales and business that is not discussed or even understood by many: the concept of letting go. If you’re in sales—or forget actual sales—anything that you want to close on. The girl, that car, the deal. You want it so badly, and there’s every reason why you should and will close this deal, whatever it is. Then it just falls apart into tiny little dust particles before your eyes, and you can’t comprehend what’s going on. It’s going against all logic. What the f#ck is going on? You wanted it too much. You were strangling it. You were sucking out all of the energy from this deal.

I’ve discussed before how desperation has zero value or benefit in business or personal life. Likewise, holding on too tightly to a deal kills the deal. Learning this took me a while, and I still fail sometimes.

A regular customer of mine texted me, saying she needed to buy. She’s a great customer—a girl in her twenties who started her jeans brand. She might have had some help from her wealthy parents, but she’s a great young businesswoman and an easy-to-deal-with customer who makes large purchases just from short text messages. So, she put in an order, and I go into this funk of “Yeah! Big order! Woohoo!” I wanted it too much; it’s as if I forgot myself. We agreed on terms. And then nothing happened. I kept checking my phone, my account—nothing.

And then I made the biggest mistake: “Hey, are you still doing this?” The ultimate proof that I wanted it too much. It would have been better if I had asked, “Hey, are you succeeding with the payment link?” or something that was a helping hand. But I was screaming, “Why aren’t you buying now???” Her response: “Hey, actually, I revisited this and don’t need anything right now, thanks.” It made no sense because her initial message was, “Hey, I need your product pronto, right away.”

So, I sat back, realised what I was doing, and let go. I forgot about her. A week later, she messaged me: “Hey, the payment link isn’t working.” And, lo and behold, I got into this loop again. I thought, let me figure out how else to get this money, offer her bank details, PayPal, maybe she can pay cash to a partner. Then I caught myself: “Stop, you son of a b#tch!” I replied, “Here’s a new link, try that. Sometimes the link has issues.” And I moved on with my life.

A couple of hours later, I sent a message: “Let me know if you have issues with the new link,” accepting that if this sale is mine, it’s mine, and if not, it’s not. Two seconds later, the payment came in.

To succeed in the business of money, your blood pressure needs to be low, your mind calm, your heart rate normal, and your nerves steady. When any of these are off, don’t ruin the deal. Distract yourself with the things in life that are more important than money, which is just about everything. I repeat, which is just about everything. Once you internalise that, you’ll see more abundance than you thought possible.