The Emotional Exchange of Money

In a city of millions, one has but a handful of interactions, usually where some kind of financial transaction takes place. These interactions of few words are filled with silent emotion. It’s rare to exchange money without an exchange of emotions. Depending on who you are, where you come from, how you were raised, and your own insanity, the way you feel about money will vary. The way you feel about earning it will vary, and the way you feel about spending it will vary. I’m not talking about a right and wrong way, but simply about a certain way that you handle things.

Many of us, at some level or another, are slaves to money. If we don’t get paid on time, we’re anxious and unhappy. This creation, with no heart or soul, rules over our emotions and our existence to the point where most conflicts between people are about money. The happiest are those who rarely check their accounts, treating money as just another aspect of life, like a lunchbox for work or butter in the fridge. When you ask them how much they have in their account, not only do they not know, but they also don’t really care to know. Their bills are on autopay, and so are their savings. You’d think, with their money getting such little attention, it would have an affair with someone more attentive, but their money hangs around happily, and as a result, they’re quite well off.

This is a much different experience than those who save money like a sport, accumulating it to never spend before entering the grave, or those who spend like there’s no tomorrow to show how much they have—not just to impress others, but to make up for their own lack of confidence. You’d think many of us are somewhere in between, but many of us are either at one extreme or the other. It’s rare to find a balanced human being when it comes to money, because we have given it such extreme importance. True, it’s hard to step back, for society gives it such importance. But who benefits from this situation? Certainly not you and I.

We can talk about governments printing money, but governments hijacked something that was around long before they existed: the exchange of value. The exchange of value can take many forms, and it doesn’t matter if it’s euros, dollars, francs, or gold coins. All have value because of the assigned value to them, and all can be exchanged for an agreed value between the supplying and acquiring party. This exchange is actually of great importance for the well-being of society and oneself.

If you understood the importance of this, not only would you be okay with paying taxes, you would be happy to pay them. You would smile at the beggar who asks for a coin or two. You would be filled with pride when your child asks for a new toy. And you wouldn’t look for the cheapest gift to buy that friend for their birthday. Likewise, you wouldn’t look for the most expensive gift to buy your partner. You wouldn’t work like a dog to acquire it, and you wouldn’t have sleepless nights over it.

For all it is, money is an expression of self. To receive it, you must give it—and happily. Anytime a bill comes in and you frown, you’re wronging your own abundance. Anytime you sit in worry about the rent or the taxes, again, you are only hurting your flow. While a dam serves the purpose of not flooding the plains, blocking yourself from spending on things that have value is blocking the rain from coming in the first place. So it’s not even about a balance; it’s about filtering. What is given to you must be passed on, or else it will be understood that it’s not needed by you.


References

  1. American Psychological Association (APA). (2020). Stress in America: Money and Finances. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2020

  2. Pew Research Center. (2019). Financial Security and Psychological Well-being. Retrieved from https://www.pewresearch.org/

  3. Thaler, R. H., & Sunstein, C. R. (2008). Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness. Yale University Press.

  4. Behavioral Insights Team. (2018). The Impact of Automating Savings on Financial Well-being. Retrieved from https://www.bi.team/

  5. Graeber, D. (2011). Debt: The First 5,000 Years. Melville House Publishing.

  6. Smith, A. (1776). The Wealth of Nations. W. Strahan and T. Cadell.

  7. Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect Theory: An Analysis of Decision under Risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263-291.

  8. Klontz, B. T., Britt, S. L., Mentzer, J., & Klontz, P. T. (2011). Money Beliefs and Financial Behaviors: Development of the Klontz Money Script Inventory. Journal of Financial Therapy, 2(1), 1-22.

  9. Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis. (2019). Understanding the Value of Money in a Fiat System. Retrieved from https://www.stlouisfed.org/

  10. Goldberg, J. (2018). Why Money Has Value. Economic Review. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/

  11. Saez, E., & Zucman, G. (2019). The Triumph of Injustice: How the Rich Dodge Taxes and How to Make Them Pay. W.W. Norton & Company.

  12. Frey, B. S., & Stutzer, A. (2000). Happiness and Economics: How the Economy and Institutions Affect Human Well-Being. Princeton University Press.


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